Deleted Scenes of KOTH
by Super Ceech
Summary: These are the deleted scenes from my fic, King of the Hill.  Enjoy!


Disclaimer: ...Not in this millennia...

A/N Before you lie the deleted scenes of my precious fic, King of the Hill. If, ironically, they ever get deleted from this site in the future, I'll be posting them up on Spacewolf, Calum and I's homepage, where our other deleted fics are resting in peace. But in the meantime, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Inuyasha's Alternate Entrance**

Kagome half-listened as she watched Inuyasha practically dive off the top of the hill with an incredibly strong push and start speeding down towards them like a streak of lightening. His movements were so fluid, Kagome was inclined to think he was made of liquid. "Amazing," Kagome murmured.

"Inuyasha!" Myouga suddenly called down in an annoyed tone, making the girls beside him jump in surprise.

Clearly it surprised the racer as well since he suddenly stumbled and pitched forward. He wiped out spectacularly, flinging up snow as his face plunged into the snow, soon followed by the rest of his body. As he skidded down at a ferocious rate, he ended up flipping over and after a few more metres, he finally slid to a halt amongst a pile of snow.

As the astonished onlookers in the chairlift passed over him, he glared up at them in reproach. "Not. A. Word," he bit out through clenched teeth.

..:V:..

Haha, how would that have been? That would have left an amazing first impression upon his future girlfriend, wouldn't it? Inuyasha, racer extraordinaire...flops terribly upon his first cameo of the story.

* * *

**Chapter 13 – The Horror That Is Naraku**

Naraku was standing there, towel gone, and nothing on but a tiny black speedo concealing the bare minimum.

With a strangled cry, Sango spun back around and buried her face in the shoulder of the person closest to her, which just so happened to be Miroku.

"Egad, man!" Miroku uttered, too disgusted with the sight before him to take pleasure in the fact Sango was in his arms. "That's just indecent!"

Naraku chuckled. "I think we could have a great time together," he said, walking towards the pool, the others quickly scuttling out of his way. As he passed, they noticed he had a tattoo of a spider across the entirety of his back. As creepy as that was, however, what they saw as their gazes drifted downwards was infinitely more so.

"_A thong_?!"

..:V:..

Ah, ah, you see now? I totally let you guys off easy the first time around. XD See if you can shake off _these_ nightmares...

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Kouga's Lie**

Well, we can still have fun with four peop...wait a minute... Kagome thought to herself and looked around in confusion. "Where'd Inuyasha go?"

Kouga looked somewhat uncomfortable. "Uh, well, he said he had to go take care of something."

Kagome frowned. "Really? When'd he say that? And what'd he have to take care of?"

Kouga coughed. "Well, you see... he mentioned it this morning to Miroku and I... um, something about, uh... running a workshop?"

"A workshop?" Kagome looked sceptical. Ayame also looked somewhat miffed.

Kouga looked really nervous now. "Yeah, a workshop...for seniors. Uh, paper maché."

..:V:..

After I updated this chapter, I realized that a paper maché workshop for seniors instead of kids would be much more amusing. Alas, I missed my chance and so here it is in the "deleted" section.

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Kouga's Not-So Lie**

"Hey, Mister Inuyasha! Can I go to the bathroom?"

Inuyasha glanced down in irritation at the seven year old. "Yeah, yeah, but be quick about it. We have to finish these projects by noon!"

The boy nodded and scooted off.

"And make sure no one sees you!" Inuyasha called after him. "This is top secret, after all!" Turning back to the rest of the room, he surveyed the other kids' progress. "Jimmy, kindly paper maché the balloon instead of Samantha's face. Here, let me show you..." As he made his way towards them, he muttered irritably under his breath, "Damn kids..."

..:V:..

And just what if Kouga had been telling the truth and Inuyasha really _was_ running a paper maché workshop for kids, lol?

* * *

**Chapter 15 – The Staff**

"That was...an experience," Sango said carefully as she flopped on the couch in the boys' condo.

"I thought it was interesting, to say the least," Miroku said, sitting down heavily in an armchair.

"You would," Sango muttered. "Why'd do buy that staff anyway?"

"I told you. My grandfather likes antiques. When I saw it, there was no way I couldn't get it for him."

"But did you have to try and trip that old lady with it?"

"Hey, she tried to trip me first!" Miroku protested indignantly.

Sango gave him an odd look. "Uh, Miroku...you did know her stick was one of those for the blind...?"

There was a moment of silence. "Oh..."

..:V:..

I had this scene in it initially, but then I decided to take it out. Guess I didn't want to be mean to the blind lady? Or perhaps we'd all like to believe Miroku doesn't intentionally go around trying to trip people...

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Barbie's Smile**

As Kouga and Ayame exited the fast food restaurant and headed towards Kouga's car, Ayame let her plastered-on smile drop. Exercising the muscles to relieve the tension, she wondered aloud, "How does Barbie do it...?"

..:V:..

I was actually going to put this scene into the chapter, but I ended up forgetting about it entirely until after it was updated. So here it is in the deleted scenes!

* * *

**Chapter 16 – Phone Call Gone Wrong**

As Ayame attempted to pry Kagome off of Sango, the phone rang beside Inuyasha.

"Um...your phone's ringing," he said stupidly and pointing at it.

"So...answer it..." Ayame panted as she redoubled her efforts. Kouga and Miroku seemed content to watch.

"Okay..." Inuyasha said, reaching for the phone. "Hello?" He had to hold the receiver away from his ear as the loud voice of a woman screeched across the line.

"Who is this?!"

"Uh...Inuyasha Dareshi," Inuyasha responded.

"Oh, so YOU'RE the one, eh?!"

"Uh..."

"What are you doing answering my daughter's phone?"

Inuyasha started to panic. "Uh, nothing! We're just hanging out at the girls' condom – I mean condo!"

The others in the room stopped their struggling in order to stare at him. The voice on the other end of the line was cool and calculated when it responded. "...What?"

Inuyasha hastened to explain himself. "We were watching a movie and it was just coming to a head – I mean, a climax – I mean–!"

"Young man," the tone in Kagome's mother's voice suggested she was quickly losing patience. "Just what is your connection with my daughter?"

Inuyasha thought only the most innocent explanation would save him here. In vain, he attempted it. "She lost a bet to me and now I get laid – I mean paid! I get _paid_ with breakfast for three mornings..." He hung his head in embarrassment.

Kagome could only stare on in horror as Inuyasha dug himself in further and further.

"And after she's _paid_ this debt?" Kagome's mother said carefully.

"Well, I've been helping her with her skiing!" Inuyasha said brightly, willing himself not to screw this one up. "She was having trouble at first so I tried to get her to show me her boobs – boots! I meant boots. But she wouldn't pet me – gah, I mean _let_ me! She wouldn't let me!"

Kagome finally broke out of her horrified trance and took a few steps forward. Putting out her hands in a placating gesture, she said slowly, "Inuyasha... Put. The. Phone. _Down_."

..:V:..

–snicker– That would have been a good way to make a first impression on your future girlfriend's mother, huh? Ah, poor Inuyasha...

* * *

**Chapter 20 – Birthday Crashers**

The music ended and Ayame quickly shut off the stereo before collapsing on the ground in a fit of giggles. None of the other audience members were doing much better, as they were all on the floor and couldn't stop laughing enough to utter a single word.

Sango pulled Miroku up out of the dip and they bowed elegantly before returning to their places and looking around innocently.

"It's my turn to spin now, right?" Miroku asked as if nothing had transpired.

Kouga waved his hand vaguely at his friend and managed to get a "No more! No more!" out as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"I agree," Kagome giggled. "I think we'd better stop playing Truth Or Dare now before we all die of laughter!"

"So what should we do, then?" Sango asked.

Just then, there was a knock on the condo door. With a confused expression, Ayame got up and headed over to it. Opening it up, she was surprised to see the ice dance partners standing in the hallway.

Strutting into the condo swinging a six pack and acting as if he owned the place, Sesshoumaru announced, "Don't fear, I'm here, I brought beer and I'm not queer!"

..:V:..

–snicker– Just something Spacewolf and I thought up. Sesshoumaru's always good for a laugh. :P

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Wake Up Call**

From the groggy recesses of his mind, Inuyasha was distantly aware of a shrill ringing. Rising out of his sleepy stupor, he groped around until his hand bumped into a device resembling the condo phone. Fumbling with it, he finally distinguished one end from the other and held it up to his mouth. "Hello...?" he mumbled.

"Inuyasha?" a familiar voice sounded. "Do you know where my daughter is? I phoned over at her condo but I got no answer! She said she would be there. I was worried so I decided to phone you instead."

Inuyasha looked down with bleary eyes to see Kagome lying on his chest. "Yeah..." he responded with a yawn. "She slept with me last night."

"Oh, she–_what_?" the voice shrieked.

Still half asleep, Inuyasha answered without thinking. "Yeah. She was really energetic last night...it was completely exhausting. She's still sleeping."

Nothing but strangled noises were coming through the phone.

Fighting back another yawn, Inuyasha said, "Well, if that was all, Mrs. Higurashi, I'm gonna go back to sleep. I'll tell Kagome to call you back later...bye..."

He hung up with a click and snuggled back down beside an unsuspecting Kagome.

..:V:..

I'm too cruel...lol. Couldn't resist. Inuyasha's really not getting _anywhere_ with Kagome's mother in this scenario...

* * *

**Chapter 26 – Manly Laces**

Toutousai lifted the lid on the box in front of him and gingerly lifted out one of the special skates. He then proceeded to pass it to Ayame, who was on his left and she passed it on to the next person and so on and so forth until it finally reached Rin, who was on Toutousai's right. Everyone gaped at the fancy, elite-looking skate; especially Rin who kept glancing incredulously from the skate in her possession to the expressionless man beside her.

"How could you refuse this?!" she demanded. "I see nothing wrong with it!"

"Rin..." Sesshoumaru started, looking like he was desperately trying to control his indignation. "The laces...are pink," he finished with a strong tone of finality.

Rin stared at him. "That's it...? You refused your father's awesome skates because the laces are pink?! Why didn't you just change the laces?!"

Sesshoumaru sniffed primly. "Father wouldn't have wanted me to change any aspect of them. So instead of wearing those "Tenseiga" skates with the offensively pink laces, I now wear the Tokijin skates They have red laces and red is more manly than pink. Right, Rin? Rin, I need this reassurance."

With a sigh, Rin said, "Yes, red is manlier than pink..."

..:V:..

Haha, Spacewolf came to me with this dialogue between the two of them and I laughed my head off. You really have to imagine exactly in what tone the lines are said to get the full effect. But alas, I figured it was way too out of Sesshoumaru's character and so it got snipped.

* * *

**Chapter Whatever – Miroku's Surprise**

Miroku glanced at Inuyasha and Kouga, bickering away in front of the television, before getting up and heading to the bathroom. As he entered the small room, a blinding light struck him several times over, the camera in front of him taking several candid shots.

A knock resounded throughout the girls' condo and Sango hastened to the door to answer it. Opening it, she was surprised to see Miroku, a haunted look in his eyes as he gave her a pleading expression. "Sango, can I use your toilet? There's a man in mine."

..:V:..

Does anyone remember Spice World, the Spice Girls movie? And the paparazzi coming out of the toilet? XD The idea of it amuses me and when Spacewolf delivered Miroku's line to me, I found it insufferably funny.

* * *

**Chapter 30 – Why Not?**

"So..." Kagome said, trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"Having the same overwhelming urge to go break them apart...?" Sesshoumaru asked casually.

"Oh, yeah," Kagome responded quickly.

"I suggest we act on that urge," Sesshoumaru suggested.

"Yeah, okay," Kagome agreed readily.

Determinedly, Sesshoumaru and Kagome set out for the targeted couple. Once they reached where Inuyasha and Rin were dancing, they each set a hand on one of their shoulders and jerked them apart. Startled, the dancing pair stumbled apart from one another and looked on in surprise at the two who had interrupted them.

Inuyasha recovered first and was quick to plaster a smirk on his face at the sight of both Sesshoumaru and Kagome peeved. His plan of revenge had worked. "Yes?" he inquired politely. "Was there a reason you interrupted Rin and I's dance?"

Sesshoumaru looked like he was about to say something for a moment before he turned abruptly to Kagome and said, "We didn't really plan anything out after this point, did we?"

"No..." Kagome said, frowning. "Maybe we should have thought more ahead..."

In the moment of silence that followed, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's eyes met. With a careless shrug, they each stepped up and assumed a dancing position. As they waltzed off together, Kagome turned to Rin. "Did we miss something...?"

..:V:..

Lol, this was the natural conclusion to the musical partners mix-up. I mean, everyone _else_ had danced together, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru just figured why the hell not? Unfortunately, I once again restrained myself and put in a scene more befitting their characters...

* * *

**Chapter 36 – A Racer's Reward**

"Time for racer number 23: 35.96."

Inuyasha let his head drop back to the ground as a choked laugh came out of his throat. Another one soon followed, and another after that until he was full-out laughing and clutching his sides for lack of breath. Slowly, the rest of the sound he'd previously tuned out crescendoed in the background and he could finally hear all of the cheers and whoops that drowned out everything else.

Eventually, once he'd finally caught his breath and gotten his laughing under control, he rose unsteadily to his feet and shuffled out of the pen. Almost immediately, he was assaulted by a small figure whose arms latched around his neck and whose lips burned his in a searing kiss.

When he and Kikyo broke away from each other...

..:V:..

XD I'm sorry, I couldn't resist! I know you want to kill me, but the idea was too funny...

* * *

**Chapter 37 – Underwear Fiasco**

"Remind me of the plan again."

"What is so complicated, little brother?" Sesshoumaru asked, gazing steadily down at his sibling. "You and Kouga escort your dates to the banquet and I shall arrive soon after with the rest of the party."

"Yes, but _how_? How do you plan to get them in?" Inuyasha asked in frustration as the group of boys and Rin walked towards the girls' condo, all dressed up for the night.

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass you onto my agent for this question," Sesshoumaru responded flippantly.

Inuyasha gaped. "Wha...? You'd pass off your own brother to–?"

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Dareshi has no further comment on this topic," Rin piped up cheerfully.

Everyone's stare shifted from the older Dareshi brother to his ever-happy ice dance partner. "You're...his agent?" Kouga asked hesitantly.

Rin laughed. "Well, not _officially_. It's just a joke really."

"A joke?" Sesshoumaru broke in seriously. "You said you would do this for me, Rin. You said you would make them stop throwing underwear at me."

"You mean us? Throw our underwear at you?" Miroku asked, confused.

At this, Rin burst into a fit of giggles. "No, not you guys, silly. All of our fans. Fluffy can't seem to get the fans to understand that he doesn't want their undergarments or other personal belongings. 'Course, this is largely due to the fact that he never _speaks_ to them in large groups. So he's nominated me to speak for him as his 'agent'." After a second, Rin added, "Of course, he wants you to stop throwing your underwear at him too."

"Ha ha, sucker!" Kouga laughed. "I don't wear underwear!"

Ayame wrinkled her nose at him. "We're broken up for the rest of the day," she told him distastefully.

Everyone else slowly edged away from Kouga.

"What?" he demanded them. "It was a joke, guys!"

Everyone kept edging away.

"A joke? You know – ha-ha funny?"

They shook their heads at him very slowly.

"Screw you guys," Kouga grumbled, crossing his arms and glowering at the snow darkly.

..:V:..

Haha, this spawned from an IM conversation I had with Spacewolf as I was writing the actual scene. I can't tell you how many times twisted versions of the original scenes have been created in our MSN conversations, but here's at least one example.

* * *

**Chapter 37 – Primping and Pimpin'**

"I'm your girlfriend. Now you want to make me pay you? That doesn't seem fair."

"Nor does all of us standing around listening to this ridiculous mating ritual. My contacts mustn't be kept waiting or else the excess bit of this group will never get into the banquet and your flashy gowns and hours of primping will all be for naught," Sesshoumaru interrupted the pair.

"Did you just say pimping?" Miroku piped up.

Sesshoumaru stared at him coldly. "No, primping."

"I could have sworn you said pimping."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "I most definitely said primping." He paused for a second. "Although I AM pimpin'."

..:V:..

Another instant message scene...lol.

**Chapter 37 – The Fine Art of Revenge**

"Is there a problem, officer?"

Back at the banquet, Sesshoumaru told the group sagely, "Revenge is a dish best served naked!"

..:V:..

What can I say?

* * *

**Chapter 38 – Alone Time**

Sharing an uneasy look with Ayame, Kouga stood up. "You know, I think we might go for a walk...clear our heads and all that..." Ayame nodded in agreement, standing up as well.

"If you leave me alone with her, she have me naked within fifteen minutes," Sesshoumaru said quickly.

Kouga sent Ayame a disturbed look and then looked back to the silver-haired man. "Um...will you be dressed again in an hour?"

Sesshoumaru thought about it and nodded. "Yes," he mused, "she's usually done with me in about an hour."

"Great," Kouga said, propelling Ayame to the safety beyond the door. "We'll see you in an hour and a half!"

As the door slammed shut, Rin turned to her ice dance partner, ruffling the deck of cards in her hand. "So...strip poker?" she suggested mildly.

..:V:..

Hehe, I came _this_ close to putting this version Spacewolf gave me in...but then I decided it was a little too suggestive when they really don't do anything of the sort. Anyways, it joined the deleted scenes ranks!

* * *

**Chapter 39? – I'm Here!**

A day after the skiing group had headed home from their two week vacation, a blue van rolled up to the lodge. Once it had parked, the side door opened and a young boy hopped out. He had bushy red hair that was just barely contained in a ponytail atop his head and the rest of his body was enveloped in skiing gear. "I'm here!" he proclaimed proudly.

The deserted mountain howled in response.

"I...hey! Where is everybody? I, Shippo, have come to be in the story!"

_You just missed them. The story's over. They all went home._

Shippo was aghast. "But – how can that be? You told me they were coming today!"

_Did I...? Whoops, how careless of me..._

"You did it on purpose!" he accused.

Once again, only the howling of the wind in the mountains answered him.

..:V:..

Hahaha, you thought I forgot about poor Shippo, didn't you? Well, kind of, but not quite. I _was_ intending to put him in somewhere for a cameo – as some lost boy they had to return to his parents or something. But as the story went on, I couldn't find a good place and he wasn't exactly high on my "must put in story" list, so it just never happened. And so here we are. Ah well, he's never really been my favourite character anyways... :P

* * *

A/N Well, there you have it! The scenes that have been deleted from my precious story... Sometimes they were actually considered to be put in the story, sometimes they _were_ going to be put in, but I forgot, and most of them I was never going to put in but were too funny of alternatives not to be known. There are probably countless others, but these were the only ones that made the cut. :P Hope you enjoyed them! 


End file.
